Having generalised seizures is one of the closest things to actually dying that humans can experience alongside having a heart attack and needing CPR.
Having full convulsions is like getting on a rollercoaster into your brain and playing roulette with your central nervous system.
For epileptics the lights definitely go out in tonic clonic seizures and partial seizures. Not all partial seizures but a lot involve loss of conscious awareness.
The ‘big ones’ can stop breathing, and in the unlucky it could be that one time you don’t wake up (SUDEP Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy), regardless of weather you hit your head on the floor, the curb, the bath or the shower.
So I guess for me personally, whilst I used to be a very spiritual person, before people starved me to the brink of death for a month or two, called it healthcare and shovelled me with antipsychotic medication knowing full well I was having seizures, I can safely say that I don’t believe in god, and my faith in humanity is at a very low ebb.
I didn’t believe before my PIPE (post ictal psychotic episode) and I most definitely don’t now.
When the lights go out, they go out forever.
Maybe I’m still here at a quantum level, perhaps the fact that I wake up at all means the engine just temporarily turns itself off and I return to the factory ‘reset’.
No I don’t believe in god. No disrespect to any of the many religions and faiths that hold communities together.
How does this involve the internet?
Before my spectacular ‘episode’, I took a couple of months at bed time to read ‘Did man create god’ by David E. Cummings MD. I honestly can’t remember the details, but I was gripped. Carefully analysing prehistory, history, religion right up to the neurology of the brain and DNA. The author carefully laid out his case for man’s need to have faith in a higher ‘source’.
As a woman, there are many draw backs to organised religion. Control by the patriarchy, abuse, inequality, oppression, exploitation and suppression of sexuality being some of the problems.
Sadly, not just for women, anything organised, is vulnerable to corruption, and inevitably organised crime.
Where there is religion there is ‘gas’.
People worry about going to hell, when others are living with bombs dropping, or being raped in hospitals or prisons. Mindfulness isn’t going to help much when you’re being shovelled with drugs against your will so that people can carry on abusing you and make out you have mental health problems to cover up the abuse.
It’s a long time since I read the bible, the children’s version, in Welsh at Sunday school ‘Ysgol Sul’. The bible has been translated a lot, over thousands of years, and has definitely had time to have the messages be lost in translation, like Chinese whispers. Interpretation is everything. A lot weighs on the person or people disseminating the information.
I watched a film of Gregg Braden enthusiastically explore spiritual texts that are hundreds of years old suggest that the original message was one of love.
Regardless of religion, if the ‘good guys’ are in charge, hopefully this is the core of any faith.
Back to the internet.
So, at some point, people with lots of qualifications, knowledge, money and ultimately power got together and connected each other on the hybrid telephone system we have today, the world wide web.
Ideas from the flaming brain can now flow freely from continent to continent, individual to individual.
Where research used to take decades or hundreds of years, computers can crunch data in nanoseconds.
And then, there was social media.
It’s human nature to want to connect with other people, but who is connecting the data and what is it being used for? The television? Your health records? Government listening posts? Newspapers? Drug companies? The military?
Who has the power to crush your soul and destroy people on the inside?
Is your mind being hacked? Has your consultant neurologist been using your data or your blog to manipulate you?
Have we just sleepwalked into 1984?
Who gets to play god with your data? I don’t know. What I do know is that as much as men and women needed faith and a belief in a higher source, there has always been someone who wants to play god.
And when that happens you get people like Hitler, and other visible or invisible psychopaths.
With the ability to use data to control people and change behaviour, illicit emotional responses, there is also the potential to change history.
The internet holds the potential to change history and make people and history disappear. Corporations control the data, governments control the internet and data can change.
It starts small like editing Roald Dahl books. Then they access your cloud and take your documents and change the wording and remove photos. Search engines remove newspapers and articles. Imagine if the holocaust didn’t happen.
There is currently a behemoth of information available to read, which may or may not be factually accurate.
A bit like good and evil.
You might think you have become forgetful or question weather or not you imagined reading about it online. If you have a health problem they will start to suggest that you are becoming forgetful and that you have a degenerative neurological condition. You need to take medication. And so it begins. your memory is erased and you are compliant, easily suggestible, even more forgetful. There are side effects. You loose your voice. No one believes you.
History is written but the victors.
The Real Lord of The Flies A True Life Story 