Monthly Archives: September 2022

Sep 2 2022

Change of Blog Name

Today I changed the name of my blog to more accurately reflect the narrative.

What I didn’t realise when I started to write this blog in 2012 was that although my intention was to write about my journey of recovery or epilepsy management, I inadvertently ended up writing a diary of someone who is a victim of disability hate crime.


I though people would want to read about alternatives to conventional medicine because taking drugs of any kind always have side effects and weather you have a mental or physical health problem reading about other peoples coping and health management strategies can be beneficial.


Unfortunately ‘alternative’ also means ‘different’ and sadly being different means that you will be the first to get your head kicked in, either by a gang, the school/academic bullies, your family ; everyone loves the ‘black sheep’ or ‘scapegoat’ and pharmaceutical companies and corporations because there is no money in good health, or in the big picture if you don’t take lots of medication with all the soul destroying side effects you can’t make big money for big pharma.

If you were in the army you would be the one that had your head flushed down the toilet and eventually the dead body outside the base gates that is surrounded in unresolved mystery because they can’t understand how a left handed shot themselves with a pistol on the right side, but it’s all very convenient because now that officer you had complained about sexually harassing you won’t have to face charges.

A bit like an epileptic who is scared of heights trying to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge.

If your not drugged up to your eyeballs it’s not so easy to push you around. They don’t like it when you fight back. Doctors like to make up stories about how women ‘attacked them’ when they were in the psychiatric facility, when in fact they were miss treating or raping them. You only have to watch terminator 2 to see psychiatric gas lighting at its worst. Machines could take over the world today and they would lock up all the people who said that it was happening. Just look at what the Chinese do to Uhgar Muslims and the Tibetans. Look at Guantanamo bay. Look at the war in Ukraine.

It’s almost as if having a disability means you become a blank canvas for those around you to project their unresolved shit.

Cue the token disabled person who filled the role in their family of the ‘sick child’. There will always be someone who wants to interfere in your life, but does it without asking you what you need or want. Cue the speculation about your sexuality, always behind your back of course, the reason you don’t have a boyfriend is that your a closet homosexual and you haven’t come out yet. It’s not because there literally isn’t a man that would ask you to dinner because your so called mates have taken over your social life and think you need sexual psychotherapy because your doing 4 martial arts training sessions a week to cope with the strain of living in a place where NOBODY LISTENS TO A FUCKING WORD YOU SAY.


The only consolation is that it isn’t just the U.K. that is an ableist shit hole. The whole globe has the same problem.


People with disabilities are being isolated and destroyed for trying to break out of the mould that society has been carving out for us. Trying to change the narrative is like trying to tell people the earth is round instead of flat.

I have never shied away from taking responsibility for myself, it’s a pity that I have met so many people who want me to take responsibility for their shit.

It’s hard to change the coercive abuse that seems to come hand in glove with having a disability because it appears that gaslighting and coercive abusive behaviour is literally what makes our society tick. The trial of footballer Ryan Giggs has highlighted that our society is so deeply rooted in coercive and abusive behaviours that a jury or judge have difficulty in deciding what behaviour is abusive and what isn’t.

Don’t even get me started on the media and the government.

At the end of the day when the shit hits the fan, it’s me, that will get the blame because abuse works like that. It will always be my fault.